Advance Directives:
Why You Actually Have to
Talk to Your Aging Parents
Advance Directives are needed if there comes a time when your aging parents are unable to make health care decisions for themselves. Federal law states that each patient is in charge of their own medical care and medical decisions.
Why do your parents need an Advance Directive?
Each patient must give consent (say "yes" or "no") before any medical
procedure can take place. If your parents are ever incapacitated and
unable to make their own medical choices, an Advanced Directive allows
them to still be in control of their own care, but through the voice of
someone else that they have already chosen. Advance care planning allows
you to begin the conversations about their wishes and desires.
The next brief video explains this from the perspective of the doctor. Several medical doctors will help you understand exactly why it's important for people of all ages to have advance directives.
[Click on the arrow in the center to begin the video.]
One clarification of what you watched. There is a Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care that is discussed here, and it relates to medical decisions ONLY. There is also a Durable Power of Attorney for Finances
that would be needed to handle anything related to money. Power of
Attorneys for Health Care, and Finances are two separate processes, and
one does NOT give authority for the other.
Something else
to consider. The simple existence of a valid Advance Directive does not
guarantee that it will be accurately followed by the health care
professionals that are attending to your aging parents. Medical
technology changes rapidly and most often requires human decision-making
in ways that cannot be anticipated by any document.
While the Advance Directive naming a Health Care Power of Attorney permits someone to speak on behalf of your aging parents, only in depth conversations with them ahead of time, will actually empower a surrogate decision maker to make those choices with confidence.
When is an Advance Directive needed?
Don't be lulled into believing that this might only be triggered at the end of life. A sudden emergency or illness could temporarily render your parent incapacitated and unable to make their own health care choices. So an Advance Directive is essential, even if your parents are vigorous and in the best of health.
What, exactly, is an Advance Health Care Directive ?
This document usually consists of two primary parts. The document designates both a PERSON and a PROCESS. A chosen Person is legally permitted to make medical decisions on their behalf. This Health Care Power of Attorney (known by different names from state to state) carries the same authority as if he or she was the patient themself.
The Process spells out what actions an incapacitated patient would or would not want in the way of medical intervention at the end of life. These anticipated medical decisions are referred to in some states as a Living Will. So the Advanced Directives combine both the legal designation of a Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care (Person) and the features of a Living Will (Process).
The Basics of Advance Care Planning
What will you need to talk to your parents about? The list is not
simple or easy. These talks will be about choices of medical care,
treatments, procedures or other options at the end of life. Modern
medical technology has so many possible procedures and machines that can
be routinely prescribed at the end of life whether or not they HELP or
they HARM your parents specific condition. Therefore, you will want to
understand your parents' mindset and beliefs. You will need to know what
is important to them and what they value as to their quality of life.
The conversations should take place over time, and be shared with a
variety of family members, and also, include your parents' doctors.
As
legal documents, many people believe that they must be completed by a
lawyer. That’s NOT the case. A properly signed document can be completed
by anyone as long as it is witnessed. What matters as much as the
papers, are THE TALKS. Thorough conversations with your parents, along
with the signed documents, are the key. The entire process, known as
Advance Care Planning is what is needed.
To move through this process your parents need:
Finally, the documents need to be distributed to the right people.
Where do you get the medical power of attorney form?
Each state has its own version. They vary in requirements and language.
They vary in readability or "legalese". You get the documents from your
doctor. You can get them at any local hospital. You can download them
from your state government website.
One national
organization got a grant to translate every state's Advance Directives
from "legalese" into language that is easy to understand. You can click
here and download a form for an
advance health care directive.
that are valid for each state.
Don't be put off if it
seems long. It looks more intimidating than it needs to. Each state's
version has a section at the beginning that explains the features and
requirements of the document. And each version has a glossary defining
terms at the end.
You can download one for your state and just look through the document to get a feel for what’s required.
If
your parents live in a different state than you do, they will need to
have the Advance Directive that is valid for their state. Go ahead and
download
one for their state AND one for your own state so you can get familiar with them and begin to see the differences.
Emergency Information Crucial for Your Aging Parents. Are You the Health Proxy?
You may be thinking that your aging parents are in good shape,
or in good health and any thought of emergency information slips your
mind. But they’re not immune from the accidents or sudden illness in the
world. You do what you can to help them stay healthy and safe – but
it’s also smart to be prepared.
Medical Power of Attorney Q & A
Questions & Answers on Being a Health Proxy, and the Medical Power of Attorney Form
Advance Health Care Directive
Why this process can solve many ethical dilemmas for your aging parents doctors.
Ask Dale: Durable Medical Power of Attorney
"My father has remarried. Who now is responsible for making medical decisions if he is not able to speak for himself?"
End of Life Issues
End of life issues and choices are the focus of a PBS
documentary. Beginning these conversations with aging parents will help
your family be prepared for the future with confidence and calm. Watch
this clip...
Making End of Life Decisions: A Real Life Example
Making end of life decisions can't be easy. You'll need a
framework of understanding to be able to talk to your aging parents and
to get your own perspectives out of the way.
Health Care Reform Act: Talk to Your Aging Parents About the Real Purpose of a Living Will
The national health care reform act is in the news.
...Unfortunately there are rampant distortions and confusion about the
part of the bill that would fund Advance Care Planning and your aging
parents having conversations with their doctor about the end of life.
Begin End of Life Planning Now with your Aging Parents. There’s more to it than you think…
Talking about end of life planning is a challenge, at best. The
biggest mistake you can make is to take your aging parents at their word
when they say: “Don’t worry, we have everything planned.”
Go to talk early talk often with aging parents Home Page
